I have a “squad” and I have goals, but I can’t say I know the actual definition of what has been affectionately named #squadgoals. Does this just mean that we aim to have a damn good time when we go out on the town? I did a quick search on Instagram under this tag to educate myself — and discovered that it usually relates to: (1) you and your besties devouring a larger-than-life-sized pizza (or this), tea parties with your biffle (plus a clown or two) at a street festival, or pictures of dogs – more dogs– and yes, more dogs. Maybe squad goals is something you can say when you grab brunch with the girls on a brisk, fall Sunday (pictured) . All that to say, this phrase is fluid and versatile – applicable in nearly any and every situation.

This trendy little phrase has me incredibly agitated and introspective all at the same time. Why are we the way that we are. It’s left me thinking about what actual goals I have for the coming year.

It makes me think about the purpose and beauty of goals. Like when I hear someone say that they set out to do something, and then they did it – I get to proud, so happy, so overjoyed for them because woooo-hooo they stuck with it.

It makes me think about how goals are hard to make, especially if you have big ones. God forbid you fall short.

It makes me think about how there is comfort and safety to accomplishing goals as a part of a team, and how it can be lonely yet empowering to make some of your own, for yourself, to do all by yourself.

It makes me think about how the people you surround yourself will effortlessly pull you away from or push you closer to accomplishing your set goals, and they’ll never know which way they’re swaying you if you’re never opening up about it to them.

It makes me think about how often I set goals for myself and keep them to myself out of fear.

It makes me wonder how much more I would accomplish if I made my true desires known to the world, and had the world to cheer me on if I wanted it to.

If you’re like me, you can’t even remember what your goals were for 2015, or you know you didn’t accomplish as much as you wish you had in retrospect.

Life for me this year moved quickly, and my objectives shifted drastically. On days when I felt like my horizons were not being broadened, my vocabulary was not blossoming, neither my self-confidence nor physical strength were growing very quickly  – I had to choose to say “no” to the internal shaming that likes to take up residence in my soul.

They say that you shouldn’t ever say something to yourself that you wouldn’t say to your best friend. Sometimes I believe we have to be honest with ourselves even if the truth is ugly. But the truth – no matter how ugly, can always be communicated with love and tenderness.

So in 2016 let’s commit to being delicate with ourselves, regardless of our goals, regardless of the outcomes. Be kind and gentle to yourself for the sake of being kind and gentle. You deserve those things. The effects of this kind of self-talk and personal care can be real and life-giving if you let it be.



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